Well... OK. I'm not gonna lay into you too much, because A- your reaction is to an extent, understandable. And B- you seem to be a pretty bright guy. But it would benefit you to be illuminated on at least a couple of points. Middle aged? Not quite, 43, but i'm gettin there. Don't knock it too much, in a number`a more years, you'll be gettin there, too. And maybe sneak up alittle faster than you think, such is your lack of perspective. `Chock afew years to alittle bit more experience with a couple things, and doing a acouple things you damn well havn't. And doing them while you were still wondering whether you wanted you penis or not. And if you want to play *that* asshole department, I know exactly what I've got in my pants, so does Chelle and a few other women. T/S I can't say I've had any direct experience with, but thru the artists and my pop around here as a kid I've been around more gay and Bi than you, so don't even run it. Elliot-on heroin?-, heh, yeah I'll give you that, `cept I don't do the heroin. Job? I've had afew jobs, not fabulous ones I've always admitted, but I've had them. The stint at the private photo lab doing winner circle prints for Philadelphia Park was the niftyest, but I was glad I left there for other reasons. But then, you don't know about that. Living here currently with my mother? Yes, I've made a conscious decision to stay here for the present moment. So do -or, *have* to alot of people. So do YOU! I have people here on this street, and I know a former junior trader in NYC, and there's other people that make more money than you (you're alittle more secure for the moment, because you work the healthcare field - they get laid of to m`boy - there are tens and tens of thousands of experienced workers in *all* fields now competing with seasonal high shcool kid jobs at mall food courts because they need the money) that have been forced to move back home. I have *zero* debt. Do you? I have money in the bank, do you? *Alot* of people don't. So I'm here, big fucking deal. So are YOU! So has Chelle been! Not proud of it, nor am I ashamed of it, it's just there. I'm out, I'm back. So are tens of thousands of people. So is another friend of mine who's a fucking project lead/manager for MTV-Viacom. That the best you can do?? It's called the *economy*. It's something that might sneak up and bite you in the ass someday. Read the statistics in a fucking newspaper. Do you ever pick up a paper, read the news sites on the net? I do. I have enough to put a years advance on an singlebedroom right now -something else you don't know about. Just as Jason made a conscious decision to stay with his mother due to her health problems, my mother is still in fairly good health, but has gone thru almost three years of some fairly trying, and at times horrific *shit* with my father, and still trying to keep it together, I felt it prudent to stay to *try* to keep a lid on and maintain this fucking household, jackass. Something else you don't quite know about. Something else which you haven't *quite* done yet. I also stayed sometimes because it was expedient to pursuing being a musician, artist, and multimedia composer. You see, *I* was encouraged from a young age, which you, I highly doubt, ever were. Your mother, railed on you constantly how every man was a fucking pig and a curse. My electronica, both myself and with Xisle has been played on radio stations dotted all around the country, in Canada, northern Europe/Netherlans, and even Russia. One of my planetarium scores commemorated the 20th anniversary of Apollo 11 moon landing,and was narrated by the second man to set foot on the surface of the moon, Buzz Aldrin. -But what the hell do you know about any of that? 'You sure know alot about' alot of stuff you really don't know about. Hm -- interesting. Creative people *I* know say 'Gee, that's a neat project'.Hour and a half scores of original music, most efx synthesized from scratch. How about i start quizing you on production technologies, synthesizers, processing, mixing desks, software, PC hardware architecture, acoustics and loudspeker design, things that the guys that I run with know about, and you fucking well don't. I've made money at my art, you havn't made shit with it yet. Who the hell are you to talk to me? Oh and I passed CMMT and Cattel for Mensa (I've got the papers, jackass) and took Stanford-Binet and passed on that too. And I came within two gaussian percentile points of the non-standard test for the Society for Philosophical Inquiry. I doubt you know what that is. So I'm not going to sit by and have my intellect insulted that I sit idley by doing nothing by a comparitive kid who doesn't even know half the details of what goes into what I do. Like I told someone else here in DA, and Michelle knows, I've grown up in art and around artists to an extent that you never fucking well have. Other people in art or design capacities who's fold i have come into and out of, who know the nature of what I do, *respect* what I do. It called "endeavor". Look it the fuck up. They respect my endeavor. Remember van Gogh? Not every artist's worth has to be judged by whether they're making as much as Britney Spears, or Andy Warhol or Leroy Neiman. Do you? If so, you're even more naive than i thought. The reputation you got on DA for jumping down people's throats for the *slightest* tiny critisism of any of your work indicates it. The art world is bigger than you, junior; a couple of the artists I've known could fucking crucify you. --- And yeah, I'd been crazy about Michelle, starting when she first broke up with Jason, before they got married. And I never laid a fucking *finger* on her, aside from hugs and peck on the cheek. Her and Jason KNOW this. And with all due props to where your relationship hopefully will go with her, you're the johnny-come-lately in knowing her, you just are. She and I have had a history going back some years before she even knew your name that, technically, doesn't concern you. -I'll repeat it again for your clarification: It don't concern you. And you're the Miracle Worker with young Ms. Keller, are you?? You could try working on your own sexual self-identity a wee bit, for starters. Hey- gonna fling the barbs?? gee, don't be surprised if people don't fling a couple of them back your way. Yeah I do know a couple more things about life than you, junior, in knowing how to treat a woman just a hair bit better than all the psychological *shit* *You* put her through. From where I, and a couple other people stand, it's you that needs, or needed to *grow the fuck up* a bit ----to the extent that you had her ready to commit *suicide*, and more than once. Yeah, Factoid, dude! And as I recall, even back when she wasn't yet properly seperated from Jason, and you came within a hair's breath of having him beat the living daylight SHIT outta you. Don't you formulate your little halfass opinions about me from over there. I, and Jason, and alot of other *men*, *never* treated a girlfriend like that. Yeah, I'm closer to middle age, and I've been around the block a couple more times than you, including members of my family in ways you don't wanna know about -we'll *leave* it at that. I hope this works out for her, and yes you too, if you're gonna freakin stick by her. She's had enough shit, and yes, *you* know as well as I do, that part of it was of her *own* doing. From the way Michelle talked she gave impression, again, that she had broken up with you, that she might be doing this alone, and I wanted to make damn sure she realized the brevity of what she is doing. To not have another scenario repeat like what she went thru having Miranda. It would be thoroughly lousy for the child, and it would be lousy for her. It could push her over the edge, I beleive I can say I know her that well enough. If you're going to *be there* for her, she needs that desperately. I beleive more so than many other women, and I think you probably know that too. Well I'm out, man. I've pretty much exhausted my words with her or for her by now, and I've had as many as you, but over more years. Talkin her up, and down. Talking up her art, and her down from suicide. And Jason had more than both of us put together. And he got to the point where he exhausted everything. Perhaps you will have the Midas Touch. I hope so. I hope it works out for you both.